So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
