Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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