Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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