This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
