Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
time to smoke my breakfast
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
