Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
