I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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