i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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