marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
