so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
