I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
