You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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