is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
