Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
