I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
