I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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