Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
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I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
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Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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