Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
