Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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