she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just gift wrapped bread.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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