I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
