well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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