Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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