You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
it's like heaven, but drunker
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
That accounts for only three of the penises
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
