Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize