So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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