I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
