Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
