who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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