Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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