My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Even my vagina gasped.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
