mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm lost and stupid without you.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
