Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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