What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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