Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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