I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
