I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my shit smells like andre
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
