A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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