one might say we're banned from that church
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
