Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
