I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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