when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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