My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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