So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
