I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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