so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
