wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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