the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
