if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
