god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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