i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
