Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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