eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
