Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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