Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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