And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?