I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
