ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom