wakey wakey hands off snakey
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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