So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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