HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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