The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize