how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
