you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
