I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
