I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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