I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
