just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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